Disasters of the talent show
by THA musIc GuY
Summary: A short humorous Percy Jackson fan fiction. I think you will love it. please read and review cuz they make an Authors day!


**Disclaimer – I own nothing with the name Percy Jackson.**

**Author's note – I'll continue A Story On The Things That Made Me What I Am, so no worries.**

**Disasters Of The Talent Show**

**Part 1 - Farts are a health hazard  
**

I was _so_ taken aback when Mrs. Taylor announced that we would have a talent show next week. I was even more shocked when they said that our roles would be chosen by the school staff this year. And even more when they said, "Perseus Jackson, you will be dancing." And even, even more when they said, "All dancers will have to find dates for the dance." NOOOO! My life is ruined, a complete disaster, I was not breathing, I'm no good with girls otherwise I would have had the courage to ask Annabeth out by now, I'm not breathing, Unfortunately, my best friend Grover, a satyr, noticed my expression and reminded me how my face looked like an over-grown egg plant, I am still not breathing, the bell rand, I was not breathing, people were still shocked by the news, and oh! Did I mention that I was not breathing?

But I had to move on. I still did not release my breath.

So I made a decision right there right then, I, Perseus Jackson, will ask Annabeth Minerva Chase, my classmate and a daughter of my father's arch enemy Athena, out for the dance. And with that the new me, released his breath and fell to the floor gasping for breath like a demented idiot who craved for the natural air that nature provided us with. But my session was interrupted when suddenly the guy shittiing-- sorry sitting next to me released a gloriously long fart that echoed through the silent corridors of the school. Suddenly the students were back to there senses and were running for the doors like it was linked to their life. But unfortunately, I was in no condition to run, note the fact that I was coughing and gasping and my eyes were bulging out of their sockets like someone was hitting it from the back with an extremely heavy baseball bat. I looked up at the idiotic fart-er, who most unfortunately was my complete opposite, he was grinning like a crazy maniac, I tried to get up but my hands failed me, so I wanted to make the fart-er aware of something, "Dude! Your completely gross!" He turned towards me his expression was like that person who had just achieved Elysium, " I know!" was his cheery reply before the corridors were again filled with the piercing sound of another annihilating bomb blast. This time, I went into a frenzy, I jumped up like a gymnast, only better, and started running with my hands thrown up in the air and the only thing that came out of my mouth was " YOUR NOT HUMAN, YOUR A MONSTER! AAAAAAAAAAH!"

Don't go thinking that he really was a monster, that's what we may call the special effects and my running like a maniac was the side effect of being in an eternal bad-smelly situation just a moment before.

I don't think that even Dionysus could surpass this guy if the God farted.

There was a rumble of thunder outside, so I yelled, " WELL ITS TRUE!" Fortunately, Zeus considered that and made the correct choice that it was true. YAHOO! I just got saved, but I don't know how I thought that would last, because at that moment another explosion, which would have made the Hiroshima-Nagasaki attack look like a waltzing melody, came into existence and I ran for the school doors like a madman.

I came out and saw the other students crowding outside looking at the school with a look of utmost fear.

I started looking for Annabeth and I finally found her, she was looking like she was gonna burst into tears any moment, then she saw me and came running at my direction yelling " PERRRRRRCY! YOUR ALIVE!"

She hugged me so tight that I thought my ribs would be broken down into calcium tablets any moment.

But no one seemed to notice as they were all eying the figure of a manic-like guy who was waving his hands and every second or two releasing another session of 5 farts.

* * *

I was staring at the screen of the television in the living room, a fatty woman was mourning over the unconscious boy, who apparently did not go unconscious with a sad face, because he was busy tormenting us with his horrific fart generation.

However painful I would have found this I saw that my step-dad found it hilarious, he did not know the true pain of having a fart-box sitting beside you.

"HAHAHA! He farted so mush that he got unconscious by smelling his own fart! How sick is _that_! Whahahahahaha! Look at his face, its looks like it was getting the best spa treatment of the world!" said Paul.

I felt like laughing too, but believe me when you were being tortured by something worse than carbon gasses, you just can't do it.

* * *

That night I had been thinking about the day. It was midnight and my eyes were open as wide as an owl, if not more.

I thought about the fart-er, the farting, the farts, the fading of the farts, and.............. basically a fart boigraphy, then I thought that I was forgetting something important. Then it hit me, not the thought but a pair of burnt socks my mom threw at me.

" What?" I asked.

" May I ask what these were doing in the frying pan?" she asked, trying to fight back a smile.

" Oh! _These_," I said trying to think of an excuse, but I decided to tell her the truth, " I was trying to fry something I saw in the kitchen it had no label, but it looked strangely like spaghetti, I was half-way through cooking when I saw that it was smelling like a pig and that it was burning, all my clothes were synthetic other than my socks so I opened them and threw them into the fire and it stopped burning."

I thought mom was gonna say " The savior of our apartment." OR, " Hercules." But she said that, " NOOOOOOO! I had just bought that spaghetti packet today for tomorrow's breakfast, now we wont have spaghetti tomorrow." But still she smiled because she was no good at staying angry. She just shook her head and went on to her bedroom.

_Then_ it hit me, this time the thought, I still had to get a date for the show! OH CRAP, I AM DOOMED! I thought miserably.

Well at least I have some time before the event, I thought and closed my eyes, but they had barely closed when they shot open, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I just remembered that the show was just a week away! Which-which means that he had to find his date within 2 days because of the rehearsals. My life sucks!

* * *

**HOW WAS THAT?? PLEASE REVIEW BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD THEY MAKE AUTHORS FEEL. REVIEWS NEEDED FOR NEXT CHAPTER : 7**

**DON'T WORRY I WILL CONTINUE WRITING A S TORY ON THE THINGS THAT MADE ME WHAT I AM. ** Just a reminder, I know I said this before but still just confirmation


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